Helene Feingold stands in the doorway of her 11th floor San Francisco apartment impeccably dressed in a vintage, knee-length purple dress from Spain with matching shoes and a white cashmere sweater embroidered with pearls.
Barely 5 feet tall, yet flaunting the same long, shapely legs of her prima ballerina days, the 97-year-old walks with a smooth wooden cane as she leads the way towards her living room.
Through the living room windows, the cars look like toys as they silently bustle through the streets and across the Golden Gate Bridge. Feingold points eagerly at a tiny ship that’s floating eastward on the bay.
“Today’s world is just very different,” sighs a silver-haired Feingold, her lips painted a bright magenta and her eyes a pale, piercing blue. “People always go by the hour. They don’t have time to stop what they’re doing.”
Marsha Guggenheim, however, is different.
A few days earlier, Guggenheim, a fellow congregant at Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco, had popped by for an afternoon visit. The two women chatted about all sorts of things, like the birthday of Feingold’s 70-year-old son.
“I’m lucky,” said Feingold, a gold, heart-shaped pin reading “l-o-v-e” fastened to her sweater. “My family calls me every day and I have lots and lots of friends who keep in touch. Some people don’t have anyone.”
Guggenheim recently helped to form Caring Community, a group that provides care, kindness, a willing ear and a helpful hand to the sick, elderly, homebound, bereaved and new parents at Emanu-El. She visits Feingold every month and phones her once a week.
A 47-year Emanu-El member and Brandeis University Fellow who has survived three heart attacks, Feingold said, “Our temple has gotten so big, you rarely hear from anyone anymore.”
That’s partially why Guggenheim, a founder and former administrative director of the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center, felt so passionately about Caring Community.
“When you join a temple, you expect temple to be there for you,” she said. “Even with four active rabbis and an active cantor, we have such a large congregation that it’s sometimes hard to be attentive and notice everyone.”
With close to 1,900 households, Emanu-El was more than receptive to Guggenheim’s idea. Others had, in fact, already been contemplating a similar type of support program.
“Our clergy and our staff wanted to enhance our member services and better meet the needs of our congregants,” said Pam Schneider, Emanu-El’s director of membership services. “But this by no means takes away from clergy calls and visits. It’s about community building.”
With the assistance of Schneider, an advisory committee of hand-picked congregants and a volunteer base of 30, Caring Community began making phone calls, paying visits, delivering food and writing notes.
“Initially I thought we would just serve the sick and bereaved,” said Guggenheim, who is the volunteer director. “But a very strong voice from the Caring Community advisory committee said we should also cater to families with new babies. We decided to be there for happy occasions, too.”
Most of the services are tailored to clients’ needs but some are more general. For instance, Guggenheim said Caring Community soon will begin sending congratulatory cards to the parents of newborns and condolence cakes for funerals.
She and Rabbi Eric Weiss of the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center are currently in the process of training the volunteers. Additionally, Guggenheim is meeting with them individually to address any concerns they may have.
She hopes to provide programs and training for the volunteers, with speakers, at least every two months.
“Maybe one would be about death and dying or how to talk to a client when you go and visit them,” said Guggenheim. “Volunteers won’t just be signed up and let go. We’ll stay a community ourselves.”
The value of small acts of kindness resonates strongly for Guggenheim. At the age of 10, she lost her mother and then her father only a few years later.
Random emotional support, provided by people she had before thought peripheral in her life, made a tremendous impact.
“They were so warm and so kind to me,” said Guggenheim of a school counselor and a rabbi. “I would love to bring the same sort of light into the congregants’ days.”
She certainly brings it to Feingold.
“She’s a very attractive young girl with her feet on the ground,” said Feingold of the 52-year-old Guggenheim. “I think the Caring Community is a great idea — lots of people need someone to talk to.”