Examine the wedding services from your religious tradition. In many congregations, rabbis allow couples to personalize their vows, choose a particular service or combine elements of several Jewish wedding services. See if there are ideas or phrases that you cherish and write them in your own words.
Talk with your beloved about marriage. Listening to each other’s beliefs, hopes, dreams and expectations will open your eyes to the commitment you’re about to make. Use the words that come from your hearts.
Pull out a thesaurus. Find all the synonyms for “love,” “forever,” “bride,” “groom” or any other words that express your feelings. Use those words in your vows.
Start reading. The Torah says plenty about marriage and love.
Don’t forget literature. Shakespeare isn’t the only author who wrote about love. Poems, novels and song lyrics have dealt with the passion and the purity of married love since the dawn of time. Resources include:
*”Love Songs and Sonnets” (Everyman Pocket Library of Poets), edited by Peter Washington (Knopf).
*”Into the Garden: A Wedding Anthology,” edited by Robert Hass and Stephen Mitchell (HarperPerennial Library).
*”A Book of Love Poetry,” edited by Jon Stallworthy (Oxford University Press).
*”Weddings From the Heart: Contemporary and Traditional Ceremonies for an Unforgettable Wedding,” by Daphne Rose Kingma (Conari Press).
It’s OK to use cue cards, cheat sheets, whatever it takes to get your lines right. Don’t try to memorize your wedding vows unless you are an accomplished thespian.
A wedding is a public declaration of love and a promise to be with each other forever. Strive to have a clear ceremony that will communicate those important points.
— Copley News Service