BJE rabbi honored for role in fight against child abuse

Last month, Rabbi Jay Miller of San Mateo became the first clergy member named to the President's Honor Roll of the American Professionals Society on the Abuse of Children .

His battle against child abuse began almost accidentally.

The year was 1976, and the then 29-year-old rabbi was invited by a friend to a San Diego symposium on issues concerning children. To say that Miller was surprised by the discussions that took place is an understatement.

"I had no idea that child abuse was going to be the subject," he recalled. "It was really gut-wrenching stuff, and I felt like bolting for the door."

But Miller opted to stay. And fighting child abuse has continued to be one of his prime concerns. Last month, Miller was acknowledged along with 10 other recipients by the APSAC, which has some 3,500 members.

The rabbi, who is the director of school services at the S.F.-based Bureau of Jewish Education, has been speaking out against child abuse for 24 years, serving as a link between faith-based agencies and social service providers. He also chairs the clergy committee of the California Office of Child Abuse Prevention.

Over the years, Miller has seen a pronounced increase in media coverage on child abuse..

"There used to be a quest for acceptance that motivated people to keep things within the community -- whether that community was Jewish, African-American, Asian or otherwise," said Miller. "But all we have to do is look at [vice presidential candidate Joseph] Lieberman to see that Jewish issues are now national issues."

In addition, he said, the prevailing belief in the 1970s was that people of faith couldn't possibly be abusers.

"The thought was that a religious person wouldn't do something horrible like that," he said. "It was as if a religious person who abused children suffered from some deep clinical problems -- everything was shoved under the rug."

Miller said the Jewish community's acknowledgement of child abuse has grown tremendously -- although the dialogue is still lacking a clerical voice.

"I think I'm one of the few rabbis openly talking about this issue," said Miller, who served as the rabbi for campus Hillels in Miami and San Diego for 20 years.

"And there aren't too many other religious leaders attacking the problem."

Some of Miller's most fulfilling moments occur when he addresses the issue of child abuse from a pulpit.

"Every once in a while, I have people come forth from the audience who tell me they were molested when they were children. It's a real breakthrough for them -- something that they can share in the deepest of confidences," he said.

"We need to make sure that we're a community that's supportive of people that have gone through those experiences."

Additionally, Miller has a good vantage point for combating "toxic theology," which he said can perpetuate abuse.

"There's a history of biblical scriptures being quoted out of context on the subject," said Miller. "The whole 'spare the rod -- spoil the child' concept is taken far too literally."

Nonetheless, he said, "there isn't a religion in existence that doesn't recognize the imperative need to protect a community's children."