“I always said that if we became a geriatric group, that was the end for me,” said Jack Ploscowe, longtime program chair of the singles group, who described himself as “forever 49.”
The Friendship Circle began as a network for singles over 35. Over the years, it became 40-plus, and then 49-plus. Eventually, Ploscowe said, it settled down as a group for 50-plus all the way up to 70-plus.
After all, “people age,” he said lightly.
The group was invaluable for those who had difficulty readjusting to being single.
“The group provided an opportunity for the divorced and widowed to find themselves again,” he said. “It also gave them a bridge to a normal social life, serving a useful purpose for growth and development.”
And during its 20-year run, Ploscowe said, about 28 marriages occurred, as well as many more partnerships.
But just as he’s retired from his job in the mental health field, Ploscowe wants to retire from this “job” as well. The majority of the programming fell to him, he said, adding, “We need new blood and new ideas. We had used all the ideas we had.”
Besides the usual social activities such as attending cultural events, the group sponsored a twice-monthly rap session, in which singles could discuss issues unique to them.
“It was not a therapy group,” said Ploscowe, a San Francisco resident. Discussions were mainly for “the exchange of experiences.” Participants found it easy to relate to one another, he said, and also found participating in such a group an “ego-building enterprise.”
When Ploscowe founded the group, he felt that synagogues and Jewish organizations were not doing enough to cater to singles.
While he received some support from a few area synagogues in the early days, his group remained unaffiliated with any organization. The group was unique in that it did not charge dues to belong.
Things have changed somewhat, in that Ploscowe believes his singles group was probably responsible for spawning others. But while these groups have multiplied, and more community resources are being devoted to the singles demographic, for the most part, it is “still not being met by the synagogue adequately,” he believes.
Ploscowe said it was “regrettable” that someone new hadn’t volunteered to take over his responsibilities to keep the group rolling.
“I had to decide after a year of indecision to [quit]. Hopefully something more will develop in a younger group.”