Shabbat and High Holy Day services are a challenge to parents with young kids. And it’s probably toughest for children with excessive hyperactivity problems, often known as attention deficit disorder.
ADD is a controversial syndrome that most commonly affects boys. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a child really suffers from the malady or is just plain “hyper,” as all kids will get from time to time, especially when confined for a long time in one place. It can also be confused with learning disorders, vision or hearing impairment, and emotional problems.
True ADD, which must be diagnosed by health professionals, causes a mixture of problems at home, with friends and in school. According to Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, an expert on ADD, some of the symptoms include: frequent fidgeting and squirming; difficulty remaining seated; high distractibility; difficulty following instructions; frequent shifting from one uncompleted activity to another; excessive talking; interrupting others; frequent loss of items necessary for activities; and engaging in physically dangerous activities.
There’s a lot of speculation as to the cause of ADD. Researchers have been looking into genetics and early environmental factors. A recent study in the Journal of Psychiatry pointed to an increased risk of ADD in children of mothers who smoked while pregnant.
Treating ADD involves such behavioral approaches as setting limits, building predictable structure into schedules and negotiating with the child on acceptable outlets for hyperactivity.
There also are medications available. The most well known is Ritalin, which is used by approximately 1.5 million youngsters and teens in the U.S., according to the journal Pediatrics. Doctors are trying other drugs for the condition, including the anti-anxiety medication buspirone, administered by a daily skin patch. Regardless of the therapy, there must be cooperation and support among all involved — the child, parents and educators.
Whether your child suffers from ADD or is just a normally active kid who has trouble sitting still in shul, here are some tips for curbing the hyperactivity and making services a more meaningful experience for your family:
*If your child is too young to participate at all in services and you know the child will disrupt the proceedings, arrange for child care and plan on bringing your child when he or she is older.
*Before taking your child to synagogue, explain how important the services are. Tell what is going to happen– people will stand and read aloud, there will be singing, the ark will be opened, the Torah will be carried round. Set a certain period of time you expect your child to stay in the seat; then arrange beforehand for a break. You’ll probably arrange for several breaks, depending on the length of your service.
*Give your child responsibility if possible. Ask him or her to signal to you when to turn your page or stand. This will encourage the child to listen to the leader.
*Give positive feedback often. And arrange for some kind of reward at the end of your stay in the synagogue.
*Finally, if you give yourself realistic expectations, (in other words, don’t expect miracles), you and your hyperactive child can get something good out of services.