An Israeli test pilot working on newly designed jet is frustrated. He gets up to Mach 2 and the wings shear at the fuselage.
Nothing the engineers recommend seems to fix the problem. But the pilot remembers that a rabbi he used to know, Reb Sofer, is a genius with an advanced engineering degree from MIT.
So the pilot calls the United States and speaks to Rabbi Sofer, who tells him: “Take a drill, and where the wings meet the fuselage, drill holes all around the junction of the wings. I know it sounds illogical, but I promise it will work.”
The pilot is bewildered, but he does it, and then he takes his jet up and boosts the speed: Mach 1, OK. Mach 2, OK. Mach 3, still OK. Mach 4, OK. Mach 5, still OK!
He decides not to push his luck, so he lands the jet and calls Rabbi Sofer. “Rav, how did you know? It defies all reason!”
The rebbe answers: “I’m 85. I’ve conducted Pesach seders for 60 years. Not once in all those years did I ever see a piece of matzah break along the holes!”
Not long after Adam and Eve had been expelled from the Garden of Eden, God decided to visit Earth to see how their first two children, Cain and Abel, were getting on.
After meeting with Adam and Eve, he looked for Cain and Abel and soon found them in a clearing — with Abel lying on top of Cain’s head!
“My son,” God bellowed to Abel. “Why in my name are you sitting upon your brother’s head?”
“Because, my Lord,” Abel intoned, “I am my brother’s kippah.”
Mendel was on a ship emigrating from Russia to America. The second day, a huge storm erupted. People screamed and chairs went flying. Yet Mendel calmly read his book.
“Mendel!” yelled a fellow passenger. “How can you sit there when the ship might be sinking?!”
“What’s to get excited?” answered Mendel. “The ship belongs to me?”