Strictly kosher

A teacher of Torah in a little Polish town got sick and tired of his drudgery and of suffering cold and hunger. He decided to become a robber.

One day, he took a knife from the kitchen and went into the woods. Hiding behind a tree, he lay in ambush for passersby. At last he saw a rich lumber dealer of the town trudging along unsuspectingly. Without a word, he threw himself upon him and raised his knife as if to stab him. Suddenly, he seemed to recall something and let the knife drop to the ground.

“It’s your luck,” he muttered. “I just remembered that this is a milchig knife.”

From “A Treasury of Jewish Folklore”



Little Miriam asks her mother, “Where did people come from?”

“Well,” her mother answers, “God created Adam and Eve, and they had children, and that’s how humans began.”

Two days later, Miriam asks her father the very same question.

“Well, honey” he begins, “Many years ago there were apes. From there, eventually, humans evolved.”

Confused, Miriam immediately turns to her mother. “Mommy, Daddy said we come from apes and you said we come from humans. I don’t get it.”

“It’s very simple, dear” she says. “With Adam and Eve, I was talking about the ancestry of my family, and with apes, Daddy was talking about the ancestry of his.”


The ideal marriage

Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about how well Adam’s mother cooked.